


Render Unto Caesar.

by espiritus



Series: We Are Legion [1]
Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout: New Vegas
Genre: Age Difference, Blood and Guts, Drug Use, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Non-Graphic Smut, Pansexual Character, Please Kill Me, Romance-ish, Slow Burn, What Have I Done, because it's Legion, but they're actually kinda cute together, ugh my heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-07-11 19:18:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 18,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15978752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/espiritus/pseuds/espiritus
Summary: Courier Ruby Santerre is on a first-name basis with danger, and two shots to the head haven't stopped the flame-haired firecracker from kicking ass and taking names.  When the bloodthirsty Legion catches wind of her abilities, Caesar himself takes the young woman under his wing...AKA I made a Legion character for the lulz and my brain said, "yep, seems like a good idea".





	1. Incipit Prologus.

**Author's Note:**

> Since Von is a neutral/good character, I decided to create one who's just plain evil for its own sake.
> 
> Unlike Von, Ruby was born in post-apocalyptic America and is in her early 20s. She lacks any kind of moral compass and is a whiskey-swilling, chem-addled, sex-crazed brute (with the IQ of a brick) who kills people for fun.

"Hey! Get back here, or I'll-"

Ruby stared after the strange man in the dog hat, then at the folded piece of paper in her hand. Benny was still out there somewhere, and the only lead she had was this thing- this _Mark of Caesar_ , as Dog-Man had called it, that would absolve her of any crimes against the Legion- those weirdos who dressed up like Roman soldiers and were constantly finding new, impressive ways to kill people. And, if that was true, she liked them already.

Ever since she was a girl, Ruby had been on her own. Orphaned at five, she'd raised herself: scavenging, killing geckos for food, defending herself against Raiders and tribals... Anything she could swing or throw became a weapon, though she preferred her kills up close and personal. She always huffed Jet before any fight, but it was the fear in her opponents' eyes- the crack of bone, rush of warm blood over her skin as she crushed the life from their bodies- that was more addictive than any chem on the market.

_If someone could bottle that shit, they'd make a killing. Literally._

She shrugged and stuffed the wadded-up paper into her pack, then glanced down at her Pip-Boy and charted a course toward The Fort. Getting there was the easy part, but coming back out was a whole other story: no one did that, unless it was in shackles or on a cross. And, though she was confident enough in her combat abilities, she'd definitely be outnumbered. But. if it came to blows, damned if she wouldn't take as many of those bastards with her as she could.

And then, there was the matter of what to do with Benny.

Even if he was right, and those two shots to the head had completely scrambled her brains, it wasn't like she'd been known for sound decision-making before. If anything, the opposite was true, and her instincts often overrode common sense. Perhaps she'd been dropped on her head as a child, or the booze and chems were starting to catch up with her... She should have just killed him. But she was a woman with needs, and their sack session at the Tops had served its purpose. Hadn't it?

Drawn to both power and body count, the seedy underbelly of the Vegas Strip had sucked her in. The bright lights had beckoned, the platinum chip in her possession promising a comfortable retirement and all the booze and chems and sex that she could ever want. And, sober or otherwise, it had sounded like a damn good deal... at least until Benny and his goons had fucked it all up.

Anger carried her, and she quickened her pace until her legs ached. If she was fast enough, she could catch up to Benny before those Legion guys got their claws in him and give him a swift clonk on the head with her rebar club. Or perhaps a nice, neat slice across his throat would give her the high she so desperately longed for. The Mojave Wasteland was unforgiving, the hot Vegas sun as relentless as she needed to be, and she wouldn't stop until she'd made him suffer.

By the time she reached Cottonwood Cove, she was tired and sore. She hadn't realized just how much she'd been lugging around, and it would be a mercy to finally unload at the first trader she passed. But there were none to be found: this was clearly a Legion training camp, and she watched the soldiers spar while a few slaves in a nearby cage let out pathetic noises of hunger or pain. All of them gave her strange looks, which annoyed her until she realized that she was both the only woman present and the only person not dressed in full Legionary armour. But she ignored their stares and headed to the dock, where her contact would assure her safe passage into the territory ahead.

"Ave," he said, by way of greeting. "Are you ready to head upriver?"

Ruby shrugged. "I guess," she replied, setting her pack down at her feet. "What's gonna happen up there, anyway?"

"You'll be meeting face-to-face with the mighty Caesar himself. To my knowledge, it's the first time he's ever summoned one of the Dissolute to see him, and that it'd be a woman is even more surprising."

"Hold on just a second. Who're you calling a _Disso-what-now?_ "

"Dissolute," he repeated, as though appalled by both her brazenness and lack of intellect. "Just like all who are not Legion, though that's not to say that all women are equally incapable. I'm sure that Caesar will find a worthy use for you. Now, are you ready to go?"

Of course, she didn't really have a choice in that matter, at least if she wanted to get her hands on Benny. He was a manipulative, cold-hearted, good-for-nothing psychopath. And, even if he was great in bed, no one crossed her and lived to tell about it.

Instead, she nodded and took her place on the boat as Lucullus guided them away from the docks. Perhaps she and this Caesar would have something to talk about after all.


	2. Felix Culpa.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *expository beeping*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I imagine that Ruby would pronounce Caesar as _Kaiser_ , like the roll. 
> 
> She may not be the sharpest spear in the shed, but who needs brains when you're busy smashing people up?

The journey from Cottonwood Cove to The Fort was nearly four hours by boat, most of which Ruby spent engrossed in an old issue of _Pugilism Illustrated_ while Lucullus manned the oars. Neither of them spoke a word to each other, but that was fine with her.

Perhaps it was due to her upbringing that she preferred her own company and never bonded with anyone she'd met in her travels. Sure, the Mojave was a dangerous place, especially for a young woman travelling alone, but she could handle herself. And what was the point of getting attached, when these people were just going to die anyway? Folks got killed every day, and it was silly to think that she'd be spared that harsh reality just because her parents were dead. She'd never relied on anyone before, and she wasn't about to start now.

By the time they arrived, the sun hung low in the sky, and the rumble in her belly hinted that it must be close to suppertime. But she allowed Lucullus to escort her to the dock, where an armed guard confiscated her chems and weapons before granting her entry to the camp. She was permitted to keep her food, however, so she took a few bites of Cram and carried on her way, feeling eyes on her back the entire time.

Ruby was used to attention, especially since her crown of fiery hair separated her from any crowd. She'd always been scrawny- a whole gecko was too big for one little girl to eat by herself, after all. But she was a lot stronger than she looked, which came in handy when she ran into trouble with men- the drifter who'd tried to rape her had learned that the hard way, when she'd punched him in the dick and smashed his fingers with a Sunset Sarsaparilla bottle. Still, these men were much bigger than she was, and there were so many of them that she'd be easily overpowered if they wanted to hurt her.

"Be careful," she heard a small voice say, from somewhere near the mess hall. "Some of these men haven't seen a woman in months, and I've overheard them talk about _trying you out_ , if you know what I mean."

"Really? Well, unless they ask first, they can try a knuckle sandwich on for size."

When she finally reached Caesar's tent. the guard out front gave her a strict warning about leaving any friends outside. She scowled and snarkily replied that she didn't keep any, but the guard made sure that no one had followed her before allowing her access. No sooner had the flap swung shut behind her, she spotted Benny to her right- he was bound at the wrists and guarded by two of those weird guys with the feathered hats.

"You bastard! I should have killed you when I had the chance."

"Come on, baby. What we did was... well, it was platinum, Pussycat. You are one crazy broad, y'know that?"

Instinctively, she reached for her club, but remembered that she didn't have it and gritted her teeth in frustration. "You lucked out this time," she seethed. "But I'll get my hands on you. And I don't need a weapon to rip you wide open. I'm gonna shove a stick of dynamite so far up your ass that you'll go whooshin' into space like a REPCONN rocket. You dig?"

One of the guards grabbed her by the arm and dragged her back into the main section of the tent. She didn't resist, but only because she wanted to save her strength for Benny. That smug bastard should have been dead long ago. But maybe she'd still have her revenge, and that was enough to keep her going for now.

"No sudden moves," he commanded, "You may bear Caesar's mark, but that won't save you if-"

"That's quite enough, Brutus. Bring the girl to me."

Fortunately for her, the guard did as he was told and brought her to where Caesar himself sat at the back of the tent. "Well," he said, eyeing her appraisingly. "What is your name, Courier?"

Ruby folded her arms across her chest. "A lady never kisses and tells."

In response, Caesar smirked. "You are no lady," he answered, gesturing to her trembling hands. "Look at you: dilated pupils, slurred speech, and still shaking from chem withdrawals... Degenerates like you belong on a cross. Yet you dare to come here and stand before me- the mighty Caesar. What the hell were you thinking?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'm here because you guaranteed my safety, or could be I was thinking about painting this tent with your guts. Still undecided, actually. But red's definitely my colour."

"Praetorians, to me!"

The guards moved into combat positions, but Caesar called them off before they could touch her. "Relax," he laughed, waving them away. "I'm just fucking with you. But I like you, kid. You've got fire in you. A man nearly kills you, and you track him across the breadth of the Mojave? When you set your mind to something, you get results. I like that. Now, let's try this again, Courier: who are you?"

"Your name," one of the guards prodded helpfully. "Tell him your name."

For a moment, Ruby froze. She hated talking about herself or her past, and typically punched anyone who asked her questions about either. But that sort of behaviour was accepted, if not encouraged, on the Strip and the shithole bars she typically frequented- if she pulled that here, she'd be nailed to a cross faster than the speed of sound. So, in the name of self-preservation, she complied... sort of.

"Juliet."

She figured her middle name was a safe bet, since it wasn't technically a lie and would save her the trouble of trying to remember later on which alias she'd used. She vaguely recalled her mother telling her that it came from some old-world book or other- a love story gone horribly wrong, or so she'd heard. It was one of the few memories she had of her parents, certainly the only one she had of her mother alive. And, sometimes, if she was high enough, she could hear her voice too- close, but far away, a shadow of a dream that faded with the dusk.

Caesar cocked in his head in her direction. "Interesting," he murmured thoughtfully, giving her a once-over as he nodded his approval. "You see, Juliet, it just so happens that I could use someone like you. So, if you're looking for work, I may be willing to make you an offer. And, since I have something that belongs to you, perhaps we can help each other out."

He reached into his pocket and produced a shiny object- the platinum chip, the one Benny had shot her for. She tried to grab it, but he pulled it out of reach as one of his guards restrained her. "Don't worry," he reassured her. "You'll get your chip back in due time. But first, I want Mr. House knocked out of the game- a quick one-two punch, with you doing the punching."

Before she could stop herself, or question whether or not this was a good idea, she agreed. Friends in high places were always useful, and it helped that she hated House and his Securitrons- they'd busted up many a party over the years, and always tossed her out of the bars when she got too fucked up. But she wanted that chip back, and her eyes fixated on the glinting silver sphere that Caesar held between his fingers; he rambled on for a bit about some bunker beneath The Fort before finally placing the chip in her hand, its weight a welcome burden as she cradled it lovingly.

"Yeah, I can punch things. Something needs punched, I'm your girl."

"Good," he replied, dismissing her with a wave of his hand. "Now, go. Destroy whatever gizmo-happy brahmin shit you find down there and return to me. Don't come back until it's done. And, trust me: I'll make it worth your while. "

With that, she agreed and followed the guards toward the bunker. She didn't know, or care, what was down there. But someone was going to pay for everything she'd been through. Securitrons, Legion soldiers, Benny's dumb fucking face... it didn't matter. All that mattered was revenge, and people always got what they deserved in the end.


	3. Ignis Fatuus.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Benny's sad, pathetic life comes to an end.

It was dark out by the time Ruby emerged from the bunker. She'd been allowed access to her possessions while in Caesar's service, which had given her an edge in combat: despite House's pleas, she smashed the generators and all of his damn bots to smithereens before returning to the surface, leaving a smouldering pile of rubble in her wake. 

This time, however, she'd had foresight enough to conceal a few things underneath her clothes: Jet in her boots, Buffout in her helmet, and a few other things that wouldn't be noticed by the Legionaries if they patted her down. Reluctantly, she returned the rest to the guard- if he noticed something missing, she'd be up shit creek for sure. So she made her way to Caesar's tent to report her success down below, hoping that no one was keeping track of her stuff- or, if they were, that they wouldn't care, once they'd seen what she was capable of.

She swung open the tent flap. Caesar glanced up at her, and surprise- probably at seeing her both alive and relatively unscathed- registered on his face. "You've returned," he said, leaning back in his chair as he adjusted the displacer glove on his arm. "I felt the ground shake a while ago, and I'll take that as a sign that you got the job done."

When she nodded, a brief smile flitted across his lips. "Good," he continued, motioning for her to step closer. "You see, Juliet, there are rewards for doing as I command. Today, your reward is vengeance: you get to decide how Benny dies."

To their right, Benny let out a horrified gasp. One of the guards backhanded him across the face, and it was Ruby's turn to smirk. Maybe this wasn't such a bum deal after all: she had her chip back, and the asshole who'd shot her was about to get exactly what he deserved... Perhaps there was a god, and that god was the man in front of her now.

"Really? You mean..?"

Caesar nodded his assent, seeming to laugh a little at her genuine disbelief. But it wasn't the cold, mechanical laughter of a villain, like Dr. Brainwash in those old issues of Grognak that she often read in her downtime- instead, it was a warm, almost good-natured, laugh, as though he understood just how badly she wanted this. Someone finally understood her. And, perhaps it was all in her mind, but whatever kinship had transpired between them- however temporary- was the most glorious, shining thing that she'd ever known in her twenty-odd years.

"Yes," came his reply, followed by another suppressed laugh. "Go to Benny, and let him know what you've decided... My Praetorians will perform the execution, unless you want to perform it yourself. "

Her mouth hung open for a moment before she snapped back to reality, and she inclined her head slightly- not deferential, but a gesture of respect nonetheless. "I... uh, guess I should get to it, then. Thank you, Caesar."

"You're welcome," he answered, eyes seeming to smile at her comical mispronunciation of his name. "Consider it the first of many bestowments."

-

Pleased as punch with a job well done, and more than happy with her reward, Ruby sauntered over to where Benny knelt on the ground. "So, baby," he asked her, disguising the quiver in his voice with a cough. "What did you find down there?"

He was bound at the wrists, his cheek an angry red where the guard had hit him, and he peered up at her pleadingly; such visible distress was always followed by fiendish delight, though that it was him made this a thousand times sweeter. At last, he'd answer for his crimes. 

"None of your business," she retorted, hands on her hips. "Everything down there is dead. And Caesar says I get to decide how _you_ die."

Benny nodded resignedly. "Really? And how's that gonna happen?"

Just looking at him made her feel sick to her stomach. It'd be a relief to have him gone, and put this painful chapter behind her. But, though she was tempted to take her own revenge, she now had a powerful army at her back. And, the more she thought about it, the more she considered letting Caesar's goons handle it.

"Well, machetes at twenty paces sounds fun... Buuuuut I'm thinking I'll have you crucified for my amusement instead."

As she said it, Benny paled and started to shake as his eyes widened with terror. "Don't do that, baby," he begged her, the ropes that bound him cutting into his wrists as he struggled against them. "Not crucifixion. I could be up there for days, with those twisted creeps laughing and pointing..."

His fear was so delicious that it should have been fattening. Her mind made up, she gave a sinister grin as she signaled the guard. "Good," she replied firmly, seeming to positively luxuriate in her callousness. "You can pass the time thinking over your mistakes."

Benny glowered at her. "You sick, vindictive fuck!"

"Damn right," Ruby responded, without emotion. "And, if I had to choose, I'd do it again. Twice."

She made brief eye contact with Caesar, who puffed up like a proud papa yao guai as he ordered his men to carry out her chosen sentence. Benny's howls of fear filled the air, replaced with a foreboding silence as six armed guards dragged him from the tent, all of it music to her ears.


	4. Clavis Aurea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby gets really high, and our buddy the Kaiser Roll nearly kills his own soldier because reasons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's curious, I use the classical Latin pronunciation of Caesar's name (KAI-sar).
> 
> I listened to a playlist of female-fronted bard songs to get the right mood for this chapter. if anyone wants to check it out, it's [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EsWubEZXE6w).

As Ruby left the tent on the hill, she wandered over to the bedrolls, in hopes of catching some well-deserved sleep. It had been a long day, filled with smashing things and emotions running high, as they often did when something ended- Benny's death had brought her some closure, though there was a part of her that felt more restless than before. Was this what vengeance sated felt like?

Of course, she wasn't paying attention to the soldier lurking in the shadows. He approached her from behind, grabbing her by the arm as he dragged her into the shadowy trenches. "So you're the one all the fuss is about," he sneered, his fingers digging into her skin. "You really are as pretty as they say. C'mon, little girl. Let's dance."

"Let go!" Ruby spat, nearly dislocating her elbow as she tried to yank her arm away- anything, to put distance between them. "Right now. Or else I'll punch your teeth down your throat."

She grappled with him for a few minutes before he knocked her to the ground. Strength-wise, they were pretty evenly matched, though he was much taller and broader, which gave him the upper hand. Her heart thudded in her chest like a frag grenade and, for a moment, she wondered whether this asshole or the adrenaline rush would kill her first. 

Suddenly, he slumped on top of her, motionless- a spear stuck out of his back. and a thick, wet liquid- blood, piss, or maybe both- slowly spread across her body like a blanket. He was alive, though just barely, and Ruby wriggled out from beneath him to see who her knight in shining armour was. A hand reached out of the darkness to help her up and, once she was on her feet, she realized that her angel in disguise was Caesar himself.

"Damn it, Augustus," he muttered to the body on the ground. "Juliet is my guest, not a slave. She bears my Mark, and you should be thanking your lucky stars that you're still alive. Consider this your warning."

He pulled his spear out of the man's back, then moved behind Ruby, a protective hand on her shoulder. "Are you injured?"

Shaken, but otherwise unharmed, she nodded. "I could have taken care of it."

"I know, and that's why _I_ did. It's more humane than what you would have done to him, no doubt. Still, I'm sure you found his punishment appropriate. The destruction of an enemy... There are few things more satisfying."

He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, then walked away. Ruby stared after him, the contents of her stomach turning to mush- she suddenly felt ill, as though the Cram she'd eaten earlier had been left in the sun for too long and was threatening to make a reappearance. So she headed off to her tent at last, figuring she'd keep a bucket nearby, just in case.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Later that night, Ruby snuck out of her tent and headed for the cliffs. She figured they'd be unguarded at this hour and, after what had happened earlier, she really needed a fix.

Once she'd found a secluded spot, she cracked an inhaler of Jet and breathed deep. She could feel the tension practically melting away, seeping from her pores like smoke. And, soon enough, she could feel a presence, comforting as a warm fire on a cold desert night. 

The image in her mind was blurry, and it bothered her that she'd already forgotten what her mother's face looked like; she remembered only that Julia Santerre had been young- probably her age now- and had the same crown of crimson tresses as the ones on her own head. Ruby had always been strong- from the day she found her parents' bodies, there was no alternative. But, right now, she was a scared little girl who needed her mother.

_For never was a story of more woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo._

"What does that even mean, Mama? I'm scared. I don't want to be all alone. Please, don't go!"

The figure faded into a shimmering haze, and Ruby reached out to touch it, but her fingers passed straight through. It had been too long since her last high, and it felt as though she had lost her parents all over again. A hand clasped her shoulder, and she turned to face her rescuer. But it was not her mother's hand- instead, it was Caesar's. She hadn't seen or heard him approaching, probably because she was too fucked up to know reality from hallucination; she couldn't bring herself to look at him, or even speak. Fortuitously, she didn't have to.

"Why do you do it? The chems, I mean."

Ruby shrugged. "I want to say they make me feel good. But that's only because _they make me see my dead parents_ sounds stupid."

She gave a rueful laugh, and Caesar shook his head. "I disagree," he insisted, resting his spear against a nearby rock. "Reckless, perhaps, but not stupid. You were a child, without guidance, and you did what was needed to survive. It's what the children of the tribes I conquered would have done, under those same circumstances, before they became Legion. Now that you're here, I'm sure that will change."

"I don't know," she admitted. "I was fifteen when I started using, and I kinda like the rush. Just one hit, and I'm bigger, stronger, faster than whatever's trying to kill me. But then, one day, I overdid it, and that's when I discovered that I could remember my parents' faces, if I got high enough. They've been gone since I was five, and I don't know that I'm brave enough to let go, y'know."

It felt strange, putting her pain on display like that. She didn't expect him to understand it, but it was also a relief to finally tell someone about it, this burden that she'd carried with her for so long. Caesar took off his displacer glove and, when he touched her shoulder, she suddenly felt sick again, that can of cram sitting in her stomach like a ball of lead. It was as though someone was standing on her chest and, for a moment, she couldn't breathe.

"Were you any other profligate soldier, Juliet, I might agree with your assessment. But, from the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were one of us."

He helped her to her feet, allowing her to hold onto his arm for support as she lifted herself off the ground. "I'll make you a deal," he continued, checking to make sure that no one was listening in. "If you go clean, I'll teach you how to fight. Not with words, like the NCR, but in the Legion's way. _My_ way. You're small enough that one of the children's uniforms should fit, until I can have one made for you. But you can't tell anyone, since the others will surely question my sanity if they find out I've trained a woman as a soldier. Now, go clean yourself up and come to my tent in the morning, for your next assignment."

Before she could thank him, or even bow her head in his direction, he disappeared into the night. She watched him walk away, unable to shake the peculiar feeling that lingered in her gut- either she'd swallowed a cazador egg while high on Jet, or there was a ghost on her shoulder that simply didn't know how to die. Either way, she wasn't going to win any fights in her current condition, so she composed herself and returned to her bedroll, where she fell into a fitful sleep at last.


	5. Ex Animo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby's training begins. But is she prepared for the lesson?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter theme: [Until You Break](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dim8ko9FBE8) by End of the Dream.
> 
> I used [this fight scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1WzhFCfOjM) (minus the ending) as inspiration for the sparring session between Ruby and Caesar. I think they'd be pretty evenly matched, in terms of stats, though experience would give him an edge.

In the morning, Ruby reported to Caesar's tent to receive her assignment, then carried on her way. Neither of them spoke a word about what had transpired the previous night, which was just as well- her stomach had finally begun to settle, and she wasn't exactly itching to relive her experience with that soldier guy.

She spent most of the day running menial errands around the Fort. But, in the evening, one of Caesar's guards found her by the cliffs and summoned her to the tent _for a word_. When she arrived, she was surprised to find it empty- the guards had all left for the night, and it was quiet enough to hear a vial of Med-X drop. But the lanterns burned obliviously on, as though stoked by silence, and she watched the flames dance, mesmerized by their power- could something so small and beautiful really be that dangerous?

The tent flap opened behind her and, as she turned around, Caesar appeared in the doorway. wearing full battle armour. "Good," he said, handing her the child-sized recruit uniform that was draped over his arm. "You're here. You weren't followed, I trust."

Ruby shook her head _no_ , and he nodded approvingly. "Excellent," he said, as she stepped behind a curtain to finish dressing. "Once you're ready, we'll begin."

The uniform was a little on the tight side, as she was marginally taller and had slight curves in places the average male child didn't, but it would suffice. Caesar showed her the proper stance, as well as some basic moves- guarding, punching, kicking- before getting into the more complex stuff; she had always been a skilled fighter, but there was so much more to combat than swinging a club at an enemy's head or lobbing a grenade into hostile territory and hoping for the best.

_It's like dancing, but with weapons._

"Now," Caesar instructed, tossing her a spear that was similar to his own. "You're going to show me what you've learned. And, if you think I'm going to go easy on you, you're wrong: your enemies don't care that you're young, or small, or a woman. They only care that you're a threat. And you need to show them just how big of a threat you are."

He assumed his stance, which she copied perfectly, before charging at her with the spear. She sidestepped gracefully, then shoved her body between him and the weapon, knocking it out of his hands before she kicked it out of reach. A boot to the chest was all it took to knock him over, but she didn't even have time to congratulate herself on her sweet moves before he grabbed her leg and pulled her to the ground, into a chokehold. 

"Never, ever let your guard down! Be confident in your abilities, but arrogance will get you killed. Again!"

They went through the motions a few more times, and she was breathing hard by the time he allowed her a moment to recover. She was surprisingly strong for her size, and he saw potential in her- this tiny woman with fiery hair, who had marched right into the Fort as though she owned it, with no regard for her safety. The only women he'd ever kept had been concubines, but Juliet wasn't like those women- she was vicious, enjoyed killing, and better that she kill in his name than that idiot Lee Oliver's. Taking her under his wing would inspire loyalty, just as it had with Lanius. And, like Lanius, she could be molded into a fighting machine with the proper guidance.

"So, tell me," he said, handing her a cloth to mop her forehead with. "What happened to your parents?"

Ruby bristled. "They're dead, and that's all you need to know."

Though she likely didn't realize just how much ammunition she'd given him, Caesar was determined to capitalize on this discovery. He'd sensed that she was holding back, and her reaction only confirmed what he already knew- that she still harbored resentment for whoever had killed her parents. But her pain could serve a purpose: armed with this new knowledge, he'd draw it out of her and wield it like a weapon against the Legion's enemies.

"Everyone fights for a reason, Juliet. What's yours? Why are you here, instead of at McCarran?"

He threw a punch in her direction, but she ducked and wrapped her arms around his waist, using his center of gravity to unbalance him. "Because fuck McCarran," she snapped, her breathing ragged as her bony fingers dug into his sides. "Bunch of fucking cowards, all of them. I'd like to rip every, single one of them in half with my bare hands, after what they did."

Caesar nodded as she released her grip, then helped her up before they resumed combat positions. "Sounds like you really don't care for the NCR. Why is that?"

She caught his arm mid-swing and pushed him backward into a wall. "My dad was stationed at McCarran," she finally admitted, brushing a strand of crimson hair from her eyes. "He was a ranger, if you can believe that. But I guess combat got to him after a while, because he started hitting the chems, hard. After he was discharged, we took up with the Followers in Freeside; Mom kept him on a tight leash but, when they refused to supply us with any more chems, my folks went elsewhere."

The words caught in her throat and, for a moment, she wished that she hadn't been so quick to trade in her Jet supply. "They went to Vault 3," she continued, her voice wavering slightly as she took a deep breath. "Fiend territory. Of course, the NCR picked that day to raid the fucking place. Mom and Dad ran, but those bastards gunned them down without a thought. Crocker's been sending me letters since then, asking for forgiveness. But I don't forgive them. I never will."

Without chems to numb the pain, just saying the words ripped her wide open. She dug her fingernails into her palms, willing herself not to cry as she tried and failed to control her breathing; bile rose in the back of her throat, and she suddenly felt sick, just as she had the previous night. The tent was too small, too hot, and she needed to get out. But her legs wouldn't cooperate, and she wobbled in place for a moment before tumbling toward the ground.

Caesar caught her expertly, with just an arm around her waist. And what happened next surprised them both.


	6. Ab Imo Pectore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand here it is!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Ab imo pectore:_ a Latin phrase meaning "from the bottom of my heart", "with deepest affection", or "sincerely"; attributed to Julius Caesar.
> 
> Chapter theme: [Heaven](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nD1aGbsmzco) by Exit Eden.
> 
> I've been in bed for almost 2 weeks with this damn sinus infection. I still feel really gross, but I wanted to get this up ASAP... Sorry it's so short.

For a moment, the world moved in slow motion. The air fell silent, and Ruby felt drunk, as though she'd just downed an entire bottle of whiskey after not eating for days. Her limbs were heavy, but also weightless, and she remained suspended in midair, held in place by Caesar's arm. She was keenly aware of his presence, the heat that burned holes in her clothes as she swallowed over the lump forming in her throat. And then, just like that, there was a kiss.

She didn't know which of them had initiated it, and she really didn't care. All she knew was that she didn't want it to end.

Until now, she'd always thought of herself as reasonably full of life, and it was only now that she realized she'd been dead inside for years- she'd shut down after her parents' deaths, and chem abuse had numbed her senses to a point where she thought herself incapable of feeling anything at all. But the tingling in the pit of her stomach proved that any illusions she'd had about being alive before this exact moment had been a lie.

Heat swirled in her belly, making her feel sick again- the spoiled-Cram, swallowed-a-cazador-egg sensation from the other night, though it was kind of pleasant this time around. She'd experienced many kisses before this one, but none of those mattered anymore: there was only this, the silence, and the strange, ungodly weight of his mouth on hers, as the rest of the world slept on.

Every inch of her was on fire and her heart ticked a countdown in her chest as though it were loaded with C4. Her knees buckled and, instinctively, she slung an arm over his shoulder to steady herself. She wasn't quite sure what to do with her free arm, so she let it hang awkwardly by her side, afraid that any sudden movement would end the dream like a flame snuffed out to conceal any traces of what had transpired here. If she could preserve this feeling, she'd chug it like whiskey until someone invented a way to stop time, because she needed it- and him- the same way she needed to breathe.

A few minutes later, Caesar broke the kiss and side-eyed her, as though she were a complex math problem in need of solving. He looked just as confused as she felt, though his thumb lingered on her jawline for a moment before he yanked it back, almost like the inferno raging beneath her skin had burnt it somehow.

"I should go," he mumbled absentmindedly, motioning toward the exit. "I, uh... That's enough for now. You can see yourself out."

He grabbed his spear and strode out of the tent, without so much as a backward glance, and Ruby waited until he was gone before changing back into her clothes. The uniform had all but squeezed the life out of her, and there was a deep red welt where the breastplate had dug into her stomach- it was little wonder she'd had trouble breathing. But she hurt in other places too, and none more so than the hole in her chest- there were no more cazador eggs, or flames that licked her spine until it turned to ash. Instead, there was only emptiness, and it was the loneliest place in the world.

By the time she returned to her tent, she was a mess of nerves, but she didn't want to sleep just yet. Every time she closed her eyes, that kiss was all she could see- she thought about going to Caesar, but she knew she shouldn't. Hell, he'd probably have her executed if she did. If she'd known this would happen, she wouldn't have been so quick to give up her chem stash, since she'd need a hit if she ever planned to erase the whole thing from her memory.

She tossed and turned for a few hours before finally giving up on sleep entirely and wandering down to the docks. Lucullus was nowhere to be found, and the guards were so busy tormenting their latest capture that no one noticed as she leapt onto the boat and paddled back to Cottonwood Cove as fast as she could.


	7. Auribus Teneo Lupum.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These two have no idea what they're doing. Also foreshadowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Auribus teneo lupum, nam neque quomodo a me amittam invenio neque uti retineam scio.” — Terentius, Phormio 506
> 
> (”I've got a wolf by the ears; for I neither know how to get rid of her, nor yet how to keep her.”)
> 
> Chapter theme: [Burn My Pain](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQJc7jmXRLQ) by Stream of Passion.

Ruby awoke the following afternoon, feeling not at all rested. Since leaving the Fort, she'd bought as many Jet inhalers as she could carry and used them all at once before falling into a fitful sleep inside some cave near Searchlight. But, instead of erasing the kiss she'd shared with Caesar, the chems had only amplified it, cementing her belief that she'd never be rid of the memory unless she jumped off a bridge or clubbed herself in the head... which, now that she thought about it, didn't seem like a terrible idea.

She stretched like a cat, then yawned and rubbed her temples as she rolled out of her makeshift cot. She'd left most of her stuff behind when making her escape, so breakfast would be booze and some more Jet, maybe a bit of the mole rat she'd killed last night, if it hadn't already gone bad. She opened some whiskey but, before she could even take a sip, there was a flash of red: four Legion soldiers had surrounded her, and she nearly dropped the bottle as one- who was easily a good two feet taller than she was- stepped forward.

"The Caesar requests your presence at Fortification Hill. Once you've made yourself presentable, you can meet us outside."

So he'd sent people after her. Obviously, the kiss had meant something to him, too, or he wouldn't have bothered. Maybe it was a trap, a game, to screw with her mind before ordering her nailed to a cross, just like Benny. Was it a stretch to try and convince him that she was too young and cute to die, or that she was worth more alive than dead? But she didn't want to keep those soldier guys waiting, so she dressed in a hurry and met them at the cave entrance.

It was a long, quiet walk back to Cottonwood Cove, and her legs were about ready to fall off by the time they reached the dock. Lucullus gave her the stink eye as they boarded- probably because he'd had to swim across the river to get his boat back- and, within minutes, they were en route to the Fort. Upon arrival, the gate guard frisked her for weapons and banned substances, and the entourage continued up the hill to the tent. Caesar looked up at them from his seat, and his eyes fixed on Ruby's before he finally turned to his men.

"Go," he instructed. "Get out, and don't come back until you're told. I'll deal with her myself."

The guards nodded, bid them _vale_ before filing out of the tent in a neat line, and Caesar turned to Ruby. "Tell me," he said, after a brief but foreboding silence. "Why did you leave?"

Ruby stared at the floor. "Why do you think?"

She huffed and folded her arms across her chest, hoping that her defiance would elicit some sort of emotional response from him, but it didn't. Either that, or he was very good at keeping it under wraps, if it had. Perhaps this had all been some sort of test, and she'd look right the idiot if she let on that it bothered her as much as it did.

"Answer the question, Juliet. Why did you leave?"

"Well," she said, trying desperately to disguise the audible tremor in her voice. "After, uh, what happened, I just... I wasn't sure I should stay. I didn't want it to make things all weird, y'know."

Caesar side-eyed her suspiciously. "You didn't want to _make it weird_. So you left in the middle of the night, stole my boat, and spent the last few days only God-knows-where, probably high out of your mind on Jet? God, I'm disappointed in you."

She opened her mouth to protest, but he surprised her by motioning for silence. "That said," he continued, switching from a stern voice to a calmer one as he rose from his chair. "What happened between us that night was... _unprecedented_. Perhaps I was moved by your story, or I thought it would help your emotional state. But, regardless of the reason, it was a poor tactical choice. And, as much as it pains me to admit, I was out of line."

In response, her jaw nearly hit the floor. She had been expecting many things from this conversation, but an apology from the Legion's founder himself was not one of them. "It's fine, I guess," she sighed, as her arms flopped to her sides in a gesture of surrender. "For what it's worth, I... didn't exactly mind."

She dropped her gaze back to the floor as she waited for his reply. Instead, he gave her a confused look that was equal parts bull that just saw red and lost brahmin that had stumbled onto a deathclaw nest, then strode toward her with purpose, only stopping when his body was just inches from hers. He didn't look like much from a distance, but was far more intimidating up close- age clearly hadn't slowed him down a bit and, like most of the Legionaries, he was at least a foot taller than she was. For a moment, she worried that he'd found her brazenness offensive, since it looked like he might hit her or something. But she was pleasantly surprised when he didn't.

"Juliet, I..."

He trailed off midsentence and slid an arm around her waist, then drew her close and kissed her like he had that night, cupping her chin in one hand as she let out a surprised gasp that vanished the second their lips touched. Her veins ignited, as though someone had fired an incendiary round straight through her gut, and she was again frozen in place, afraid to move, in case she was dreaming. But this was no dream, and the way her knees trembled as his fingertips pressed into the small of her back was proof of that. Maybe he was afraid too, that letting her go would make her disappear. He would never admit as much, but she vowed that she would never leave here again.

When it finally ended, she peered up at him, wide-eyed, her breath still rattling in her chest like the flapping of cazador wings as she swallowed hard. He took one of her hands and held it against his cheek, as though trying to make sure she was really there; it was an odd gesture, but she allowed it, a move it seemed he was grateful for. She didn't want to ruin the moment by talking, but she had to, or it would all come spilling out of her like blood from an open wound.

"So I guess that night meant something to you after all, huh."

Caesar glanced down at her and gave a brief nod as he trailed one finger along her chin. "I haven't stopped thinking about it. Did it cross your mind, too?"

"Kinda," she confessed, her face growing hot where he'd touched it. "Well, more like it was all I could see. I thought the Jet would get rid of it, but... even when I was high, there was nothing else."

This answer seemed to satisfy his curiosity for the time being, and he nodded thoughtfully before pulling her closer. "That makes two of us, then," he agreed. "I'll admit that it wasn't the impression I wanted to make- for many reasons, but especially because you're young enough to be my daughter. So I ran, like a coward. And, when I discovered that you were gone, I... well, let's just say that I didn't think I'd see you again. But I sent my Praetorians anyway, because I had a feeling you were still out there."

Ruby leaned into his embrace, letting the warm, tingly feeling in her stomach spread through her whole body as he stroked her crimson hair. "Guess it doesn't matter now, does it?"

In response, he simply planted a kiss on her forehead as he drew back from her at last. Already, she missed the closeness they'd shared, and she felt the absence of his touch deep in her core. But it wasn't a sad, empty feeling, like the one from before; that had been replaced by anticipation, knowing that there was an end to the ache that welled inside.

"Tell no one," he commanded, though his voice was gentle. "They'll know, when the time is right. But, for now..."

He stopped talking, seeming to stare at something behind her- more like _through_ her. But, when she turned around, there was nothing there, and a few moments passed in silence before he finally snapped out of it.

"What just happened? Are you okay?"

Caesar nodded, though she wasn't sure if he was just doing it to assuage her fears. "Nothing," he insisted, dismissing her concern with a wave of his hand. "It's nothing. I'm fine. Now, you go get some rest, and I'll see you back here at midnight. _Audentis fortuna iuvat_ , little one."

Of course, Ruby wasn't entirely convinced that everything was, in fact, fine. But she couldn't prove anything, so she did as she was told and headed to her tent for a much-needed rest.


	8. Dulce Periculum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *diabeetus intensifies*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly, I had my doubts about the pairing when I started. But I see this whole thing as more of a romantic awakening for Ruby, as opposed to a sexual one, and they're actually pretty cute together.
> 
> Chapter theme: [Could I Have This Kiss Forever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsfj9j0kjoU) by Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias.

As instructed, Ruby waited until the rest of the camp was asleep before donning her child-sized armour and returning to Caesar's tent, which was once again empty upon her arrival. She felt strange being here alone but, with no guards in sight, she glanced around quickly and managed to enter without being seen.

Flames crackled in their lanterns, and a strange whirring noise echoed through the chamber, seemingly from the back room. She poked her head in, though Caesar was still notably absent, so she followed the sound to a machine that stood near the bed. There were more buttons and dials on the thing than on the slot machines back in Freeside, so she sat down on the mattress to examine it- each button was labeled with words that she couldn't read well enough to understand, so she figured that she was better off not touching anything. She wasn't good at any of that science stuff, other than how much of which chem was needed to get the best high, but that would have to change if she planned to stay.

"Curious, are we?"

Caesar made his entrance, again dressed in a full suit of battle armour, though he didn't seem annoyed by her impromptu reconnaissance mission. He helped her to her feet, and she resisted the urge to hold onto the hand he'd offered for any longer than was necessary; she didn't want to come off as clingy or demanding, but there was something about the gesture that made her feel secure, in a way that she hadn't since she was a girl. It had been years since she'd gone longer than a few minutes without looking over her shoulder; she'd always made a habit of hanging around people who were bigger and scarier than she was, though it was the scariest man in the Mojave she felt safest with.

"What is that... that _thing_?

"It's called an Auto-Doc," he replied, gesturing to the machine. "As the name suggests, it's an automated physician, more or less. It can treat broken bones, cuts, scrapes... Makes for a powerful gift, in a culture that forbids painkillers and is largely ignorant of medical science. And, sometimes, I bestow its use on someone I favour."

As he said it, he touched her cheek, and an involuntary shudder raced up her spine. "Let's see," she heard him say, over the sound of her own heartbeat in her head. "I'll show you how it works. Surely, you have some kind of physical injury somewhere."

The first one she thought of was the bruise on her stomach, from where the child-sized Legionary armour had cut into it. The area was swollen and purple now, tender to the touch, and she winced as she removed her breastplate to show him the extent of the damage. With only her thin leather corset on, she felt particularly vulnerable beneath his gaze, though he was respectful about it and didn't try to grope her or make disparaging comments about how scrawny she was.

"It looks bad," he said, his eyes finally meeting hers. "Does it hurt?"

His fingertips grazed her belly, and she drew a sharp breath as her heart skipped a beat. "Not really," she replied finally. "It kinda did at first, but I barely feel it now."

Caesar nodded approvingly. "Good. Now, go stand behind the Auto-Doc and watch what happens."

He gave her shoulder a reassuring squeeze, and she obeyed, positioning herself directly behind the machine while he tapped a few buttons on the console. The cold metal made her skin crawl as she braced herself for pain; there was a soft whooshing noise, followed by a mild static shock. And, when she glanced down at her skin, the bruise was gone.

"Holy shit, that's so cool! How did you- never mind. It'd be over my head anyway. But it's gone, so let's get back to my training! I, uh... we _are_ still doing that, right?"

She moved to grab her spear from where she'd propped it up against the bedpost, but Caesar caught her arm and held it fast. "Another time," he answered, taking the spear from her hand and setting it back down before gathering her in his arms. "For now, you need your rest. You can stay here, though we'll need to sneak you out before the guards arrive in the morning. You'll have to forgive me, but I'm not very good at any of this, I'm afraid."

In response, she gave a lazy smile as he set her down atop the mattress. "Neither am I, really. I was high or drunk for most of the others, sometimes both. Half the time, I didn't even know their names. What about you? I'm sure there's been at least one before now."

"Yes, but you're the first in a very long time. When I was around your age, I had a brief romance with a young Followers girl- not the sharpest knife in the shed, but pretty enough that the other boys were jealous. We went our separate ways, but she's probably dead now. Or married with a bunch of children, though they're the same thing, if you ask me."

He took a seat beside her and kissed her forehead, his thumb tracing lazy patterns along the hollow of her throat as she leaned back against the pillow. The air was warm and thick, and her breath burned her lungs as though she'd swallowed turpentine- like a Jet high, minus the brain fog- though she didn't object when his mouth crushed hers in a searing kiss. The heat in her belly coiled and stirred, slowly spreading to her arms and legs as she returned the gesture; theirs had been the first, and only, sober kiss she'd ever experienced, and she knew only that she wanted more like it.

Though she didn't take up a ton of room to start with, she shifted to one side in order to give him space, and he lifted her up so that her hips pressed against his. The soft, demanding pressure of his tongue on her bottom lip opened the floodgates in the deepest parts of her, and a soft whimper rose up inside as she buried her face in his shoulder. She had more pride than to let him see her cry, but it was becoming harder to contain the flood of unfamiliar emotions that threatened to split her in two.

"Am I hurting you?"

She shook her head, eyes brimming with tears as she gulped back a sob. "No. I'm fine. I just..."

In truth, she wasn't sure how to answer. After the Auto-Doc experiment, she was no longer in physical pain, but it was the emotional aspect that was alien to her. She had always been good at separating the acts themselves from the person she happened to be doing them with- a feat that seemed nearly impossible, now that she was stone sober. Sobriety always hurt like a bitch, but she'd have to get used to that, too.

"Juliet, I... We don't have to do this, if you don't want to."

There was something surprising, if slightly unnerving, about the tenderness in his touch. Maybe she'd expected him to be more violent with her, which she wouldn't have minded; in fact, she'd have preferred it, because she knew how to deal with pain. Blood and bruises were things she understood, tangible proof that what she felt was real, but she had no idea what this sensation was, or what it meant.

"It's not that," she insisted. "Of course, I want to. It's hard to explain, but... every time this happens, my stomach tries to leave my body. Maybe it's the Jet withdrawals or something. D'you think your machine thing could cure my addiction?"

A smile, though brief, flickered across Caesar's face. "Perhaps, though I don't think it's chem withdrawal that's causing your symptoms. Those are called _emotions_ , a side effect of being human. And, though I've never indulged in any chems or alcohol, there are things I've done- things I'm not proud of, feelings I've buried, because I was convinced that detachment was necessary. The night I kissed you was one of them, though there are others."

It was the first time she'd seen his stoicism falter, and it hurt. She wanted to reach out and hold him, though she restrained herself and waited for him to let her in. Physical closeness was one thing, but these _emotions_ he'd mentioned were deeper and far more complicated than that- it would definitely explain why she'd always found it easier to get fucked up and play hide-the-banana-yucca with strangers she'd met in bars than it was to be open with someone she wanted to be with. But she kept that thought to herself; it was safer that way.

"That night," he continued. "After the altercation with Augustus, I was impressed by your bravery. But I also felt responsible for what he'd done, so I agreed to train you, as a peace offering. I was torn between wanting to protect you and just _wanting_ you... and, in a moment of weakness, instinct took over. It doesn't excuse my actions, but I wanted you to know the truth. You aren't the only one who's afraid, you know."

Ruby sighed, feeling brave enough to test the waters by resting her forehead against his. "Sounds about right. That's why I ran away. I guess it was less scary than the idea of facing all of those demons myself."

Caesar nodded his agreement. "Then face them with me."

He touched her chin, then trailed one finger over her jawline before tilting her chin upward for a kiss. This time, she surrendered, melting into it as though it were her first, and the flames in their lanterns seemed to glow that much brighter as every fiber of her being sparked to life.


	9. Semper Ardens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Estne volumen in toga, an solum tibi libet me videre?  
> ("Is that a scroll in your toga, or are you just happy to see me?")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NaNoWriMo is over, so I'm back to this~ yay!
> 
> Ruby uses sex as a means of escape, a way of dealing with deep emotional trauma, but she's never been in love. So I wanted this bit to be romantic, instead of creepy and/or rape-y. I hope I succeeded. :)
> 
> Chapter theme: [Crazy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rQvTcTeRyQ) by J2 and StarGzrLily

As a teenager, Ruby lost her virginity to a Gomorrah prostitute. She drank her weight in whiskey and, with no parents to tell her _no_ , snuck into the casino: the hookers there had loaded her up with Jet and Psycho, after which she'd had crazy-good sex with a dark-eyed woman whose name she couldn't remember. In fact, her memory was fuzzy on most of the details, though she'd ridden that high all the way back to Freeside and woke up three days later at Old Mormon Fort with a concussion. And, just like those two bullets Benny had fired into her skull, it hadn't slowed her down.

Since then, she had amassed an impressive list of conquests as long as her arm- men, women, human or otherwise... It didn't really matter who her partner was, since she was usually too drunk or high to care and the only real requirement was a warm body. But this was different.

"Are you sure you want to...?"

Caesar's voice cracked on the last word, and Ruby was surprised by how unlike himself he sounded. She was used to hearing him give orders, command entire groups of soldiers, torture and enslave all who would resist his will. And yet, here he was, asking her for permission.

She nodded, then swallowed hard. "Yeah," she answered, her voice catching in her throat. "I just... I've never done this sober before. I'd say ask Benny, but he's kinda dead now, so."

This elicited a brief chuckle from Caesar, though he quickly became serious again. "I hope he burns in hell for what he did to you. I'm just glad I could help send him there."

He kissed her forehead, and Ruby cracked a smile, in spite of herself. If not for Benny, she'd never have ended up here in the first place, and she never wanted to be anywhere else again. She'd finally found home, something she'd wished for since her parents died... Perhaps she owed that sonofabitch after all.

She took off her armour, and her fingers shook so intensely beneath the weight of each piece that she dropped one and it landed on the floor with a dull thud. But Caesar didn't bat an eye, and he peeled off her leather corset to reveal the skin beneath- a map of her triumphs and failures in combat, scars and bruises in various states of healing; she felt smaller and more vulnerable than ever, and her breath burned the roof of her mouth as one of his hands moved between her thighs. 

"If you want me to stop, just say the word."

Ruby shook her head vigorously. "No," she half-ordered, half-whined. "Don't."

His fingers moved over her slit, with just enough pressure that she squirmed, as a ripple of heat rocked her forward. Without the Jet to keep her comfortably numb, every sensation was amplified; in that moment, she had fire for blood, needles in her veins, and an insatiable ache beneath her skin, for which the only cure was his mouth on hers.

"Touch me," he insisted, holding one of her hands over his chest. "It's been too long. _Please_."

He practically sobbed the last word, and the sound touched something deep in her core. "It's okay," she whispered, almost tenderly, her own voice unrecognizable even as the words left her lips. "I'll take care of you."

She wasn't sure why she'd said it. But it felt like the right thing to say, and so she hadn't given any thought to it until the words were out there. She'd never cared about anyone but herself and, as far as she was concerned, people were just a convenient means to an end: their usefulness was determined by what she could take from them- caps, chems, their lives... But she was more interested in giving than taking, and she couldn't understand why this time was so unlike the others. 

Still, she was capable of following orders, so she reached beneath his tunic and wrapped her hands around his cock. He gasped audibly, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he grabbed the top of her head, and she used the noises he was making to adjust her rhythm. She didn't know, or want to know, what all those years without any kind of physical contact could do to a person, and this was just as much his moment as it was hers. They both needed this, and she knew that she'd never do Jet again.

"That's my... good... girl."

He grasped her hips and pulled her down onto him, burying his cock deep inside her as one of his hands twisted into her hair. The other crushed her against him in a protective embrace, and she wrapped her legs around his waist for leverage as she let out a sharp cry, pressing her face into the crook of his neck to muffle the sound. He fit perfectly inside her and, now that they were as close as humanly possible, she didn't want it to end.

Caesar's eyes fluttered open, and he brushed a strand of hair from her face before covering her mouth with his. "Juliet," he said, every syllable laced with affection. "Don't let go. I... I need you."

Ruby bit her lip and whimpered, afraid of what she might say if she opened her mouth now. She wasn't about to admit that she loved him- hell, she didn't even know what _love_ was, or what it was supposed to feel like. The only thing she was sure of was that something had been missing from all of those other conquests, and that this was it.

She could feel the knot in her stomach unraveling as she neared what she knew was the ultimate end, but couldn't contain the tears that spilled forth as the waves of relief overwhelmed her. Her breath came in shallow, heaving gasps, and yet it wasn't pain that moved her. A strange warmth spread slowly throughout her body, into her arms and legs, and the last thing she remembered was the sound of her own heartbeat in her head, eyes heavy as the air grew cold and thin around them once more.


	10. In Flore.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our lord and saviour Kaiser Roll makes some shit up because that's what he's good at. Also more foreshadowing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just can't with these two.
> 
> I don't think Caesar realizes just how hard he's fallen for Ruby/Juliet, which is going to make the next few chapters even harder to write. 
> 
> Theme: [Animal](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nman6sPkh8c) by J2 & Keeley Bumford.

When Ruby finally woke, her limbs felt as though they were made of lead and her head swam as though she'd gotten really high the night before. As her eyes adjusted to the light, she noticed that she was still in Caesar's tent, her armour and equipment exactly where it had fallen when...

The memory didn't feel real, but her blood turned to magma as she recalled what had happened the previous night. She vaguely remembered something about having to leave before the guards arrived, though it was well past that, as she could already hear voices. She'd never been great at sneaking, so she lay completely still and listened in.

"Yes," she heard Caesar say. "The girl... Must have been ambushed by NCR patrols and hit her head during the escape, so I brought her back... Auto-Doc still works, so she should be fine in a few hours."

"Have you gone mad?" the second voice, deep and gravelly, responded. "I would have left her exactly where she fell and let the Wasteland do the rest. I realize that this woman is an important part of our plan, but she is just an instrument of Legion- expendable, and of no consequence to us, once she has completed her objective."

Silence fell, and Ruby waited to hear Caesar's response. "I disagree," he said, though she thought she could hear affection in his voice. "The girl is a gift, from the NCR to us. They practically delivered her right to our doorstep, and I'm not about to give up our golden ticket- not when there's so much at stake. Now, you get out of here and I'll see to her myself."

"With all due respect, Caesar, it would appear you've taken complete leave of your senses. I don't know if it's related to those awful headaches you've been getting lately, but-"

"That's not a request, Lanius. It's an order. Now, get out, and maybe I won't have you crucified for insubordination."

She heard the tent flap swing shut and, a few minutes later, Caesar's form appeared in the archway. "Good," he said approvingly, upon noticing that her eyes were open. "You're awake. Don't mind Lanius. He's an asshole, but he's loyal, and he'll do as he's told. How are you feeling?"

He leaned over and kissed her forehead, with such tenderness that she melted back into the pillows. "Fine," she replied, pushing a strand of hair from her face. "I feel fine. A little sore, in all the right places, but hey. Totally worth it."

Caesar shook his head, though the corners of his mouth twitched upward into a smile as he rolled his eyes at her youthful enthusiasm. "I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep up with you, at my age, but it all worked out in the end. Truth told, waking up next to you was... kind of nice."

As he said it, Ruby's heart raced, turning her face as red as her hair. She pulled the sheets up until they nearly covered her eyes, but he moved them away and gave her a gentle peck before helping her to her feet. "I hope you don't mind," he went on, handing her a piece of her uniform. "I'm not sure how much you heard, but that cock-and-bull story I made up, to justify your presence here, was necessary. Lanius already thinks I've lost my mind, and I don't want him or the others giving you a hard time as a result."

She nodded her agreement. "Yeah. What was that he said about headaches?"

No sooner were the words out of her mouth, every ounce of colour drained from Caesar's face. "You weren't supposed to hear that. Still, it's nothing. I'm not a young man anymore, but I can't have my Legionnaires thinking I'm weak, or one of them might just decide to make a play for the throne. Enough about me, though. You have a job to do."

Ruby cocked her head to one side, scrunching her nose up in response. "Maybe you should see a doctor. I'm not good at any of that science stuff, but I've heard that-"

"And I've heard that it's a bad idea to tempt the wrath of Caesar. Change the subject."

The sudden switch from tenderness to rage frightened her, and she recoiled as though hit by a projectile. "I'm sorry," she replied shakily, her voice trembling with a combination of anger and fear. "I didn't mean anything by it, I just-"

Caesar's eyes softened almost instantly. “No, my dear,” he replied solemnly, cutting neatly through her words as he cupped her chin in his hand. "It is I, who should apologize. You've done nothing wrong, and have nothing to fear from me."

His arm moved around her waist and drew her closer- a gesture that Ruby grudgingly allowed. She wanted to stay mad, but her resolve quickly crumbled as he kissed her forehead. "I'm not afraid."

"Good. Now, go to Vulpes for your next assignment, and come see me when you're done. _In hoc signo taurus vinces_ , little one."

Ruby nodded and, without another word, extracted herself from his embrace as she left to carry out her orders. Caesar watched her go and, once the tent flap had swished shut behind her, resumed his seat in the main antechamber. There was no doubt in his mind that Juliet belonged here, that she was one of them, and that she would help to lead his Legion to greatness. But they were in a precarious political position, and the slightest shift could tip the balance in the NCR's favour; perhaps getting involved with her had been a mistake. But, even if it was, it would be worth it in the end.

He pictured her as she had been, the previous night- the deep blue of her eyes, her pretty face flush and twisted with desire as the flames in their torches cast ardent shadows over her skin. For years, he'd had no love for anything but his Legion, and that had been all fine and well. But Juliet had awakened a part of his soul that he'd thought long dead and buried- she wasn't like that Followers girl, or the profligate women his Legionaries brought in as concubines. She was beautiful. And maybe she wasn't all that bright, but her willingness to take direction made up for it in spades. 

The tent flap opened, and a single slice of sunlight pierced the darkness as Lucius made his entrance. He had led the Praetorian Guard for several years and had become Caesar's closest confidant since joining the Legion- in fact, he'd been the first to hear of Juliet's disappearance and leader of the group tasked with bringing her home from that cave near Searchlight. The man could be trusted, maybe even with something so delicate as...

"She's lovely, isn't she?"

This caught Caesar off-guard, as he hadn't told anyone about what had happened since Juliet's return from the cave. "Who?"

"The lady," Lucius replied, gesturing at the tent flap. "Juliet, is it? Not the sharpest, but she knows how to handle a katana."

 _That's not the only thing she knows how to handle,_ Caesar thought, though he kept it to himself. This wasn't the time to drag anyone else into personal matters, lest they be distracted from their end goal and lose everything they'd worked so hard to rebuild after the first disastrous loss at the Dam. They'd know more when the time was right, but it was best to keep it quiet for now.

"She's definitely... talented."

Lucius nodded. "I've seen the way you look at her. Not that I blame you, of course. She is quite pretty, maybe even enough to be an officer's wife, and any sons she produces would make excellent Legionaries. Perhaps we could keep her around, once this Dam nonsense is over and done with." 

"Indeed," Caesar agreed, hoping that he didn't sound overly enthused. "She's loyal, which can be used to our advantage, even with the NCR erased from the Mojave. And then-"

"Does she know?"

The guard tapped a finger over his temple, at which Caesar shook his head. "Not yet," he admitted, dropping his eyes to the floor. "She will. But not now. She's too young to be burdened with all of... this."

A flash of red caught his eye. He looked up, hoping to see Juliet and her crown of crimson hair, but it was just one of the child Legionaries, who'd come to clean out the dog bowls. It was another few minutes before she finally arrived, head held high as she proudly deposited the heads of two NCR rangers, still dripping blood, at his feet.

"General Oliver sends his regards. So I sent four of his men back to McCarran in pieces. How's that for a fair trade?" 

Caesar nodded approvingly, tightening his grip on the arm of the chair as he resisted the urge to touch her. "That's my girl."

He glanced at Lucius, who concealed a laugh as he collected the severed heads, which would later be mounted on pikes outside the tent. "Well done," he went on, inclining his head in her direction. "Now that you've completed your task, I have an important, time-sensitive mission for you. I want you to make contact with the Boomers- they're a reclusive tribe, though they possess superior firepower, and I've lost countless scouts in pursuit of their secrets. I want you to offer them an alliance with my Legion, and my terms are simple: aim their guns at the NCR side of the Dam during the battle, and they can keep their freedom. If they aren't amenable to this offer, destroy them."

She nodded. "I'll handle it."

"I know you will," Caesar answered. "Your first challenge will be to reach their settlement without getting blown up, though it should be smooth sailing from there. Go to- AARGH, GODDAMNIT!"

A white-hot flash of pain blinded him and, a few minutes later, he was blinking as though seeing sunlight for the first time in years. Lucius and the guards appeared concerned, though Juliet's face was a mask of terror. She looked absolutely horrified, and he wondered how long he could shield her from the inevitable. 

"Fuck it. I'm going to lie down."

For a moment, no one moved, the guards and Juliet all frozen in place. Even the child Legionary, who'd been cleaning the bowls, was shaking in his boots, and the dog he'd been leading had peed itself out of fright. Ordinarily, it would have been a minor grievance; but, right now, the stillness of the scene just made him angry.

"What the hell is everyone still standing around here for? Get out, all of you!"

The guards obeyed and returned to their duties while Juliet, clearly still shaken by what had just happened, headed for the door. "Not you," he said, his voice ragged with exhaustion. "I want you to report to me once you've completed your mission. In the meantime, see Lucius if you need assistance with your current orders. Dismissed."


	11. Alea Iacta Est.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby heads to Nellis, in order to put out some death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd imagined a heavy metal soundtrack for a Legion storyline, but this one is giving me some serious cinematic pop vibes.
> 
>  _Alea iacta est_ : "The die is cast" - Julius Caesar, upon crossing the Rubicon in 49 BC.
> 
> I really like the Boomers, especially Pearl and Loyal, so this was hard for me. But Raquel was the one I could see Ruby butting heads with the most. so she took one for the team; I am a horrible, horrible person.
> 
> Chapter theme: [Run Run Rebel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTuTsqCo4uE) by Hidden Citizens & ESSA.

As she left the tent, Ruby turned to Lucius. "What was that about?"

He shrugged, though she didn't buy his feigned ignorance. Maybe she'd lost a few too many brain cells to Jet and Psycho, but she knew when she was being lied to. The only question now was _why_.

The two of them made their way to the drawbridge, where Ruby collected her weapons from the Legionary at the gate before continuing to the docks. Lucius offered to send a guard or two with her for backup, but she declined. Legion presence in the heart of NCR territory would surely draw unwanted attention. But, more than that, she needed time to herself. She was already in over her head, far more attached to one person than was safe or sane- it was best to create distance while her head was still in the game, if only slightly.

She stepped onto the boat and, as Lucullus ferried her toward the shore, she thought back to what she'd witnessed in the tent- Caesar's face, contorted with very real pain, as though someone had dropped a grenade on his head. She recalled how defensive he had gotten, the sudden shift from adoration to scorn, when she'd asked about it- something was wrong, and there was no convincing her otherwise.

Upon reaching the camp, she ditched her uniform in one of the cabins and continued toward Nellis in civilian clothes. It was a few days' walk from Fortification Hill, but she pushed on, stopping only for sustenance or sleep. And, when she finally arrived, she noticed a strange man waving at her from higher ground.

"Whoa there, little lady," he called out, gesturing to the area behind him as she approached. "Better slow down, or you'll get blown up, just like the other idiots who tried to scavenge at Nellis. Now that I've got your attention, would you be interested in a little information? It'll cost you, but it's well worth the investment."

Ruby scowled. "You can tell me, or you can tell the underside of my boot."

She brandished a knife in his direction, and smirked a little as fear painted itself onto his face. "Simmer down," he stammered, eyes fixed on the weapon. "I'm a gambler, not a fighter. This here's Boomer territory, and they're artillery-slingin', grenade-lobbin' whackjobs. Wander in there, and you're as good as mincemeat. There _is_ a way past, of course... and I'll tell you, for a little wager, soon as you put the knife down."

Cautiously, she disarmed, tucking the knife back into a holster around her waist. "A wager? I'm listening."

"Then listen good," the stranger went on, with more confidence, now that she was not pointing a weapon at him. "Give me three-hundred caps and, if you make it back alive, I'll double your money."

Over the years, Ruby had made most of her caps in less-conventional ways- gambling, extortion, theft.... Other than the odd mercenary job or chem deal, she'd never earned an honest day's pay in her life, and nearly everything she owned had, at some point, belonged to someone else, usually pickpocketed or looted from a corpse. Therefore, it didn't really matter whether she won or lost this bet: money was no good to her dead. And, if the stranger tried to cheat her when she made it back alive, she'd just beat him into submission and bring him- or his head- to Caesar for a double reward.

She handed him the caps and, in return, he passed her a slip of paper with some drawings on it. It didn't look like three-hundred caps' worth of information to her, but the deal was done, and the stranger wished her good luck as she headed toward the base. But she didn't need luck- she'd show him what the Legion's best could do and, in just a few minutes, she'd be six-hundred caps richer; Caesar would certainly be proud of her too. That alone would make knocking on death's door worth it.

As she headed toward the base, she studied the drawings on the scrap of paper that the stranger had given her- so intently that she almost didn't see the giant missile heading toward her at light-speed. She quickly took stock of her surroundings and ran, taking shelter in a dilapidated house as the missile impacted just inches from where she'd been standing moments ago. That's when she realized that the drawings on the paper were some sort of map, with places that were safe to stand marked in red. So she kept running, the missiles hot on her trail as she tried to keep her eyes on both the map and the terrain at once.

By the time she made it to the gate, she was breathing hard, sweat pooling beneath her eyes as her heart beat so intensely that she thought it might give out. Adrenaline and athleticism were an effective combination in fight-or-flight scenarios like this one, though it had been a little close- maybe even too close- for comfort. But, when she looked up, she was staring down the barrels of two missile launchers pointed directly at her: one trigger-happy moron was all it would take, to turn her into paste. She'd be wiped from existence on a molecular level, and there'd be no trace of her left- not even enough ash to send back to The Fort in a matchbox.

"Hold up," a young female voice called out. "Who are you? How the hell did you survive that bombardment?"

Ruby frowned. "Not telling. I didn't run all the way here to answer your stupid questions."

"Fine," the voice's owner- a pretty dark-haired girl, probably around her own age- replied. "Answer, or don't, I don't really care. I'm Raquel, Master-at-Arms for the Nellis homeland, and our Elder wishes to speak with you."

"Really? I'm a master of arms too. See?"

She rolled up her sleeves and flexed briefly as the woman called Raquel rolled her eyes. "You're a special kind of stupid, aren't you?" she huffed, crossing her arms. "I could explain, but it'd probably be lost on you. In any case, Mother Pearl has asked that I bring you to her, so follow close... oh, and mind your behaviour. Idiot."

_Call me that again, and I'll gut you like I did the geckos back in Goodsprings._

But she kept quiet for the time being, and followed Raquel across the camp to a nearby shack. The door clicked shut behind them, and a silver-haired woman rose from her seat on a nearby couch. "Welcome, child," she said, nodding her head at each of them in turn. "Took your sweet time getting here, didn't you? I've been waiting five years for an outsider to come and visit."

Ruby said nothing at first, though Raquel _gently_ prompted her with an elbow to the ribs. "You mean you've been expecting me? Like a prophecy, or something?"

"Prophecy?" Mother Pearl replied, almost impatiently. "Come now, little one. Do we look like a bunch of religious idiots to you? I just hoped that a sav- er, outsider- would make it to those gates before one of those armies comes knocking."

In response, Ruby nodded, smirking at Raquel as she gestured for the other women to sit. "It's a little late for that," she said, her fingers closing around the knife in its holster. "I've come with an offer from Caesar himself: point your fancy flying missiles at the NCR side of the Dam during the battle, and you can keep your freedom."

Mother Pearl looked confused for a moment, but it was Raquel who answered for her. "Like hell, we will," she snapped, leaping to her feet. "Those savages? I'd rather die."

Ruby smirked. "So be it."

Raquel reached for her gun, but she didn't even have a chance to grab it before Ruby pulled her close and dragged the blade of that knife across her neck. It tore through the exposed skin as though it were paper, and a rush of adrenaline surged through her veins as the former master-at-arms crumpled to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

"You," she hissed, the whites of her eyes visible as the wound gaped silently on. "See you... in... hell."

The last word was barely a gurgle, as blood bubbled in her throat. Mother Pearl looked on in horror, helpless to save her dying comrade, and Ruby just smiled even wider as she lifted Raquel's nearly-lifeless body off the ground one last time. "Meet you there," she taunted, in a stage-whisper. "Until then, Caesar sends his regards."

She then gave the young woman a kiss on the cheek before snapping her neck clean. It made a horrible popping noise and, satisfied with her handiwork, Ruby let go of the body, letting it drop face-first onto the floor. A pool of crimson slowly spread, inching its way toward their feet, and Mother Pearl closed her eyes, unable to bear the sights and sounds of death any longer. 

"Hey," Ruby chirped, like a little girl who'd just tasted Sugar Bombs for the first time. "You're in charge around here, right?"

She let out a hollow, emotionless laugh as Pearl nodded frantically, trying to avert her eyes from the carnage. "Good," she continued, gesturing to the door. "You can tell the rest of your friends not to fuck with the Legion. And, if I were you, I'd give it some real thought before you choose a side, unless you want to end up like your friend here."

Without another word, she turned around and wiped the blade of her knife on her sleeve before exiting the barracks and heading for home.


	12. Ubi Fumus, Ibi Ignis.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a moment of fluffy fluffness, before shit hits the fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is totally not filler, and I'm not putting off the inevitable because my feels hurt. Honest.
> 
> Last update before the holidays~ here's wishing you all a very Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Season's Greetings, and all the best in 2019!
> 
> Chapter theme: [Closer](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G4h1iHooWw) by Keeley Bumford.

A few days later, Ruby finally arrived back at Fortification Hill. As expected, the drifter she'd made the bet with had tried to rip her off and, still riding the combat high from her kill back at Nellis, she'd sliced his throat open before stuffing the severed head into her pack. It had been too long since she'd killed a person, and the rush buoyed her along as she made her way home, leaving a trail of carnage and chaos in her wake.

By the time she reached the tent, she was covered in blood and dirt. The heat had made her dizzy, and her legs were so weak from walking that she only made it as far as Caesar's throne before passing out. When she woke again, she was lying on the queen-sized bed, the Auto-Doc's gentle whirring noise rousing her from slumber. It was dark, but for the flames flickering in their lanterns; her eyes slowly adjusted to the dim light, and she was suddenly aware of Caesar's shadow on the wall beside her.

"You're awake," he said, moving from the chair he'd been sitting on to a spot beside her on the mattress. "I heard about what happened at Nellis. You could have been injured, or worse, and I don't know what I was thinking, sending you out there all alone. I should have insisted that Lucius go with you- he's a good soldier, and he'll have your back, as long as... er, as long as you're one of us."

Ruby pulled herself into an upright position. "I asked to go alone."

"What?" Caesar's expression was just as incredulous as his voice. "But why? If anything had happened to you, I- hold on a minute. Is it because of what I said before?"

She shook her head and, unsurprisingly, her neck hurt. "No," she insisted, slumping back against the pillows. "I'm not afraid of you."

"Maybe you should be."

A moment of silence passed between them before he motioned for her to follow him. "I fought a deathclaw once," she remarked, as she rolled out from underneath the covers and stood up. "It had long, pointy teeth, and sharp claws the size of ten spears! But I wasn't scared of it, so why would I be scared of-"

"Because everyone is, little one. The real monsters out there aren't geckos or mutants, or even deathclaws- they're other humans. Raiders, Rangers, Fiends... They're worse than all the others, because they look just like you and me, and yet they'll gut you as soon as look at you. Those are the real enemies, Juliet, though I'm sure you don't have to look too far behind you to see that."

He opened the tent flap, gesturing to the rows of crosses that lined The Fort's grounds, an obvious reference to Benny. But it wasn't just Benny- there had been others as well, like the NCR soldiers who'd killed her parents; Augustus, who'd tried to rape her when she'd first arrived at the Fort... and, of course, the young woman she'd killed back at Nellis, who'd probably have killed her first, given half a chance. Even if the Legion's methods were brutal, every single one of those assholes had gotten exactly what they deserved.

"Benny got what was coming to him."

Caesar nodded approvingly. "As will all of our enemies, little one."

He folded her into a protective embrace, and the two of them surveyed the camp from the safety of the tent. "See those men out there?" he said, pointing to where the other Legionaries sparred with each other near the fire pit. "One day, the task of leading them will fall to you. I never thought I'd say this to a woman, of all people, but they need you. I'm not as young as I once was, and I need to know that my Legion will be in safe hands when I'm no longer here to guide its vision."

Ruby frowned. "Why? Is something wrong?"

"Tomorrow is never a promise," he replied dismissively, with a wave of his hand. "These are dangerous times, and I have no delusions of immortality. Just feeling sorry for myself, I suppose. You'll understand when you're older."

He let go of the tent flap, and it fell shut, once again sealing them away from the rest of the world. Neither spoke a word but, as she moved to take off her bloodied clothes, he caught her hand in midair as his arm slid around her waist. 

"No," he insisted, one thumb under her chin as he tilted it upward. "Let me."

He held her closer still, pulling the bloodstained garment over her head in one, fluid motion. Ruby gasped as the cool evening air made contact with her exposed flesh, but yielded to the gentle pressure of his hands on her hips and let him carry her back to bed, where he tucked the sheets tightly around her body before giving her a gentle peck on the forehead.

"You must be very tired, my dear. I have other matters to take care of, but you can stay here for as long as you need to. Siri can bring you some healing powder from the clinic, should it become necessary, and you can see Lucius for anything else."

She nodded sleepily, and Caesar gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving her to rest. He lingered just out of sight, watching from the archway as the flames in their torches flickered and dimmed; within minutes, she was snoring like a rabid yao guai, but he waited until he was certain that she was asleep before making his exit. She'd already heard too much- Lanius' comment about the headaches had not been intended for her ears, though not taking appropriate precautions has been a miscalculation on his own part, and it wouldn't happen again. 

Outside, torches glowed in the dim evening light, illuminating the crosses as the moon burned white against the Mojave sky. A few moments later, Lucius appeared, a guard dog at his heels. "Did you tell her?"

Caesar shook his head _no_. "I tried. I just-"

"She needs to know," Lucius urged. "What if it's serious? Would you rather she wake up next to your dead body, with no explanation as to how it happened and everyone around here blaming her for it? They'll assume she caused it, and they'll kill her; that's your alternative." 

He hadn't considered that possibility, and he definitely didn't want Juliet's death on his conscience. Even with all the blood that his Legion had spilled over the years, her life was worth a thousand others, and he'd sacrifice his most loyal followers before he'd let anything bad happen to her. 

"Fine," he said, trying to convince himself that it was. "I'll do it. But I want you to be there when I tell her. You've always a way of getting through to people, and I'm sure you'll be able to put it in words she'll understand."

Lucius nodded his agreement and, with the proverbial pink deathclaw in the tent dealt with, the two men parted ways, without another word between them.


	13. De Profundis.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby is oblivious to the bomb that's about to drop and, when she does find out, explodes like a nuclear payload.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year, profligates! 
> 
> I can't stand Lord Kaiser Roll, and Ruby is an irredeemable jerk... Both of them are actual human garbage, so why do I have such a bad case of the feels right now?
> 
> Finally, a metal-ish theme: [Ghost Flowers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO9b5mw381I) by OTEP.

By the time Ruby awoke, nearly a full day had passed. She was still in the tent, though Caesar was conspicuously absent and there wasn't a guard to be seen; the main antechamber was also empty, so she headed out, in search of Lucius.

She found him by the docks, helping the other guards process their latest captures. He looked surprised to see her, though there was something else in his eyes that she couldn't quite read. "Juliet," he greeted her, as she approached. "Glad to see that Nellis didn't chew you up and spit you out, my dear. The Caesar is, er, otherwise occupied at the moment, but stop by the tent in the evening. I'm sure he'll have something for you by then."

Ruby glanced warily around the training yard at the other Legionaries, who were engaged in some sort of sparring contest. "Actually, I was hoping you could teach me some of your moves. You know, so I can fight like a pray-whatever."

Lucius hesitated. "I shouldn't," he said, dropping his voice to a stage whisper. "I'm not an idiot. I know that Caesar has taught you in our ways already, though Lanius would start an uprising if he had any idea. He's already jealous of how quickly you've earned Caesar's trust and, if he ever found out that the two of you were... uh, you know... it would be pandemonium."

"What? How do you know about-"

"It's my job to know," Lucius responded carefully. "You two might think you're clever, what with all the sneaking around, but it's pretty obvious to anyone with half a brain that there's something going on. Lanius may be a meathead, but he'll figure it out eventually. And, when he does, all hell will break loose around here; half of us would be dead before we made it to the Dam, and we can't afford those kinds of casualties, after everything the NCR took from us. But, if you promise not to tell anyone, I'll talk to Caesar about teaching you a thing or two."

Satisfied, she trotted off, and Lucius sighed as he watched her go. He hated keeping the truth from her, though she needed to hear it from Caesar himself; she may have been dumb as a post, but she was so cute and blindly loyal that it was hard not to take pity on her. And, though he was used to running damage control whenever Caesar fucked up, he was not looking forward to fixing this mess.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

It was dark out by the time Ruby returned to The Fort. She'd spent most of the day on a scouting mission at Hidden Valley with the frumentarii- Vulpes had been opposed to her presence at first, since she wasn't the scholarly type, but he had finally allowed her to accompany them on Lucius' orders, after he swore on his own life that she wouldn't fuck it up. So she'd kept out of trouble for his sake, though she found all that smart-people stuff to be dryer than the Mojave in August and was excited to get back to her regularly-scheduled head-smashing.

Caesar's tent was eerily quiet. A few of the guards gave her stiff nods, by way of greeting, but no one said a word until Caesar himself looked up at her from his seat. "Welcome back, Juliet," he said, though her name sounded strange on his lips. "I've just received news that the Brotherhood of Steel's bunker at Hidden Valley has been destroyed, and Vulpes reports that your ability to follow orders contributed to the outcome. This latest victory brings to a close my latest efforts to reshape the power balance of the Mojave, and not a minute too soon."

He held her gaze for a moment before mouthing something to Vulpes, who nodded. "Come," he said, standing up as he motioned her forward. "I want you to join me in my tent. You and I are going to have a private conversation."

Something about the way he said it didn't sound right, but she followed him into the back room of the tent anyway. She was, of course, surprised to see Lucius there, seated beside the strategy table- while she liked him well enough, it didn't make sense that he would be present during what she'd expected would be a deeply personal moment. Once all three of them were seated, Lucius nodded at Caesar, who drew a sharp breath before making eye contact with Ruby at last.

"All right, let's state the obvious. There's something wrong with me."

Ruby cocked her head to the side, like a dog awaiting its next command. "I don't understand," she replied, her voice wavering on the last word. "What do you mean there's something wrong with you?"

"I don't know, little one," he admitted, his voice broken, as Lucius gestured for him to keep talking. "Remember that thing you heard Lanius say, about the headaches? Well, they started a couple of months ago and, though they weren't too bad at first, they've become... debilitating. For the past week or so, my left leg has been dragging- it's stiffer, hard to move. And you've seen me blank out."

He dropped his head so low that she couldn't see his eyes, but kept talking. "I'm at a loss," he continued, not meeting her gaze this time. "Lucius says I stare into space, blink a few times, and keep talking like nothing happened. So what's the diagnosis?"

Lucius gave an affirmative nod, and Ruby sighed, her face burning as hot as the flames in their torches. "I knew it," she murmured softly, nearly choking on the sob that rose up in the back of her throat. "I knew there was something wrong. I told you to go see a doctor. How the hell am I supposed to- never mind. Ask someone else."

"Answer the question, Juliet."

It was the same thing he'd said to her, upon her return from that cave near Searchlight, after their awkward first kiss. But, this time, she didn't have a scathing comeback, because all she wanted to do was cry.

"I don't know," she half-shouted, half-sobbed, her voice rising in both volume and intensity. "I don't fucking know, okay? I'm not good at that medicine stuff- I told you that. And now you want me to... you know what, fuck you both. You lied to me, and _he_ -" she jabbed an accusing finger at Lucius "-helped cover it up!"

She leapt out of her chair like a mantis on Psycho, and wobbled in place briefly before grabbing onto the table for support, which caused one of the empty bottles on it to fall. It shattered into a thousand pieces and, after a few seconds of silence, a determined look came over her face as she began smashing the others too. In just minutes, the floor around them was covered in broken glass, and her palms were bloodied, but it appeared that she wasn't going to stop until she'd broken every last thing in the room- or all of the bones in her hands, whichever came first.

"Juliet, stop."

But she didn't, and Caesar cast a pained glance at Lucius, who shrugged. They'd expected her to take the news poorly, but this had not been part of their plan. He didn't entirely blame her for her outburst, but her anger was quickly approaching unsafe levels and she clearly had a predisposition toward violence: if they let it escalate, she'd be a danger to them both, as well as to herself.

"Stop," he repeated, as though trying to calm a scared dog. "I was only trying to protect you."

"Protect me?" she demanded incredulously, angry tears spilling down her cheeks. "Protect _me_? From what?"

"From _life_ ," Caesar thundered, so loudly that she froze and didn't put up a fight as Lucius moved to restrain her. "No one lives forever, Juliet. You should know that by now."

He hadn't intended to frighten her, but it had seemed the only way to break through her anger and bring her back to reality before she did serious physical damage to herself or someone else. Over the years, he had learned that keeping a cool head was key to handling tough situations with dignity, though Juliet was still young and had abused chems for so long that she likely had no idea how to keep her emotions under control without them. Someone would have to teach her before the inevitable happened.

Once they'd managed to calm her down, Lucius brought her a glass of water and some healing powder from the cabinet, and Caesar allowed her to compose herself before starting over. "Let's try this again," he said, just as he had when she'd arrived. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept it from you; I only wanted to keep you safe. But I'm all out of ideas, and I need your help. Will you?"

She nodded, and Lucius whispered something into her ear. "Sounds like a straightforward case of intra-cranial blastoma fibrolosis," she replied slowly, her voice still weak from crying. "It's a simple procedure, as brain surgeries go."

Her mispronunciation of the words was endearingly clumsy, and Caesar suppressed a wounded laugh; if not for the gravity of the situation they now found themselves in, he probably would have cracked a smile, since she was adorable and it was hard not to love every little thing she did. The world may have been a shitty place, and he wouldn't miss it, but this fiery little hellion had made it worth living in, somehow.

"I've never heard of that condition," he admitted. "How would we go about treating it? It _is_ treatable, isn't it?"

"Maybe," she replied apprehensively. "What about that machine thing?"

She pointed at the Auto-Doc in the corner, and Caesar sighed in response. "Useless," he said, with a shake of his head. "It's never had a functional diagnostic scanning module and, without that, it's useless for surgery." 

"Then I'll find one. Where should I-"

"It's not that simple, little one. Auto-Docs used to be a mainstay in the old vaults, but every single one my men have run across has already been stripped for parts. I've heard rumours of a working one in a vault near Nellis, but you can't go back there, for reasons that I'm sure are obvious to all of us."

Ruby sighed, her chin resting in her hands as she propped her elbows on the table. But, suddenly, a lightbulb went off over her head. "Wait," she said, springing to sudden life as the gleam returned to her eyes. "There's a doctor back in Freeside, some Followers guy, who fixes people for next to nothing. Maybe we could take him as a slave?"

"I see," Caesar answered, with a nod. "In that case, you have my permission to take him captive. My best men will accompany you and, if he cures my condition, I'll see to it that your reward is several times his value. Oh, and Lucius-"

"Yes, sir?"

He'd hoped that Juliet would stick around for a moment, so that he could atone for even a fraction of the anguish he'd caused. She didn't, of course, though her grief lingered- an impenetrable cloud that was just as tangible as the bloody handprint she'd left on the tent flap. 

"Look after Juliet. Keep her safe, and don't let her do anything stupid."

Lucius nodded his agreement and, without another word, followed Ruby out into the darkness, keeping her in his sights as he rounded up his best guards and headed toward the docks.


	14. Ex Gratia.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ruby heads to Freeside with Lucius and company, and both put their questionable acting chops to the test, to enslave "some doctor guy". Also some fluffy fluffness, to make up for how awful the last chapter was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  _Ex gratia_ : done or given as a favour, and not under any compulsion. In other words, Ruby is doing this because she wants to, rather than because she's been ordered to. And she's clearly got a bad case of the feels, if she's willing to work for free.
> 
> Ruby doesn't travel with companions in-game, but I could never do this to Arcade, even on a Legion character. Maybe because I'm not actual human garbage. 
> 
> Back to cinematic for this one: [Rescue](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWQ_hm9HWmo) by Raine Wilder & Svrcina.

Under cover of darkness, Ruby and her entourage began their journey to Freeside. As much as she was still angry with Lucius for keeping this whole thing from her, she was grateful for the backup- she would need help, if she were to pull this off. And, right now, she would take any help she could get.

In theory, the plan was simple: she'd fake an injury, after which Lucius would head into the Old Mormon Fort for 'help'. And, once the doctor was in the street, she'd signal the other guards- they'd grab him from behind while no one was looking and, when they returned to Fortification Hill, he'd perform the surgery and cure Caesar's illness; she and Lucius would be rewarded for their efforts... and maybe, just maybe, she could finally forgive them both for what they'd done to her.

When they arrived a few days later, they ditched their uniforms in an abandoned building on the outskirts of town before entering Freeside itself in civilian clothes. To passersby, they looked just like any other fortune-seekers on their way to the Strip in search of instant gratification, which was just as well; with but a gate separating them from both the NCR embassy and the remains of Mr. House's Securitron army, it was better if they didn't draw more attention to themselves than necessary.

As soon as they reached the Old Mormon Fort, they put their plan into action. Once the guards were safely out of sight, Ruby let out a scream as she toppled to the ground like a sack of mutfruit and, right on cue, Lucius started shouting. His voice was pretty convincing, at least in her unskilled opinion, and she hoped that the doctor guy would feel similarly. 

"Help! Somebody, help! My wife, she's hurt- I need a doctor!"

Sure enough, it took only a few minutes for their target- the doctor guy, a blonde man in glasses and a white Followers coat- to appear. If she were still unattached, she'd probably find him cute, but the only thing she cared about was fixing Caesar's head so that the headaches would stop and all would be right with the world.

"Are you all right, Miss?" he asked, stooping to check her out. "Show me where you're injured, and I'll try my best to patch you up."

"Right here," she said, pointing to her right knee- her signal for the guards to move in. "I don't know what happened. I was just walking, and then-"

At that moment, one of the guards dropped a burlap sack over the man's head while the other threw him over his shoulder. "Hey!" he sputtered, writhing like a gecko stuck in a bear trap as they bound him at the wrists. "What the hell is going on here? The lot of you are going to pay for this!"

 _Good luck with that,_ Ruby thought to herself, eyes darting back and forth to make sure that the area was clear of witnesses. There were none, of course, and so they hurried quickly out of sight and waited in a nearby collapsed building until nightfall, when they finally headed for home.

\- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

It was another three days before they finally arrived back at Fortification Hill with their prisoner. This doctor, it turned out, was a difficult man who refused to perform the surgery, so they brought him before Caesar, who ordered him stripped of all valuables and tortured until he reluctantly agreed to do the operation later that night. Lucius and the Praetorians hung around the tent to supervise the preparations and, her mission complete, Ruby left them to their work. She desperately needed a bath, and sleep, and _maaaaaybe_ just a little bit of Jet to calm her nerves; she'd sworn never to touch it again, but it was definitely tempting.

"Juliet."

The voice belonged to Caesar, who had followed her outside and was now directly behind her. She turned around to look at him, and was surprised at how much he'd changed- she'd been gone for just under a week, but he had already lost a few pounds and walked with a more-pronounced limp as his left leg dragged awkwardly behind him. He was starting to show his age and, for a moment, she wondered whether or not he'd even survive whatever this doctor guy had planned; a strange weight pressed down on her chest, and she swallowed over the sob welling in her throat as she willed herself to be brave.

"What is it?"

He held a leather pouch in front of her. "Your pay, for a job well done. What I asked of you wasn't a simple task, but you did what was necessary... and there's more where that came from, if I make it through this."

Ruby hesitated for a moment, then shook her head. "Keep it."

It was the first time she'd ever refused payment for her work. But, right now, she didn't care about money- all she wanted was for things to go back to the way they were.

"Are you-?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," she repeated, more confidently this time. "Consider it a favour, or something."

She turned to move away, but he caught her by the arm and pulled her back around- a bold move, given how exposed they were. "Listen," he said, his voice wavering slightly on the word. "Juliet, I... If I don't survive the operation, I want you to know that I-"

"No," she interjected, her voice barely a whisper as she held back a sob. "Don't talk like that. You'll be fine, just fine."

"I can't promise anything," he responded, his voice softer this time. "But, regardless of the outcome, your contributions have been invaluable, and we're quite fortunate to have you on our side. If anything happens to me, Legatus Lanius will see to it that you are taken care of."

Once he'd made certain that no one was looking, he reached over and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "It's been an honour," he continued, peering down at her as his knuckles came to rest against her cheek. "You're a damn fine soldier, and there's no one I'd rather have at my side. What a pretty young thing like you sees in an old man like me is anyone's guess, but I'd be lying if I said I objected."

Ruby laughed weakly. "Good, 'cause I sure as hell don't."

He moved to kiss her but, just before their lips touched, Lucius rounded the corner with a pair of guards. "Sir," he said, with a brief bow. "The doctor will see you now."

Caesar nodded. "Very well. Tell him I'm on my way."

The sun sank lower in the sky, and Ruby watched as the party retreated to the tent. Her eyes met Caesar's once more, and a familiar sensation- cazadores, thousands of them this time- rose up in the depths of her stomach, her chest tight as he drew her close and kissed her again. She yielded to it, desperate to commit it to memory, in case it was the last chance she had, and tears pricked the corners of her eyelids like radscorpion venom. When it finally ended, she felt cold, as though she herself had died, but stood in resolute silence as he walked away, waiting until he was gone before she broke down and cried.

_To be continued..._

**Author's Note:**

> playlist:
> 
> Bernice Nikki, [ Heaven's Light, Hellfire](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQnql5UMB9Y)  
> Hanine El-Alam, [Arabia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ICUb7y1QCXs)  
> Hey Violet, [Like Lovers Do](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5rtxcogEsU)  
> Inon Zur, [Blood & The Bull](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WK4YL8sOwo)  
> Jace Everett, [Bad Things](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMPNjPpdjKU)  
> Matt Dusk,[theme from _Loaded gun_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jFGNdyV7K0)  
>  Within Temptation, [The Cross](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGNO2w14dVA) and [Let Us Burn](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DBuIhr1Id4)


End file.
